12 Weeks Postpartum

I know I complained quite a bit about not losing baby weight in my 11 weeks postpartum post. I have experienced quite a bit of thinning this week, though. Unfortunately, it's the thinning of my hair. I didn't notice a tremendous thickening during pregnancy. And I have relatively limp locks to begin with. But last night when I got time to shower, I conditioned and combed through my hair with my fingers . . . and then I pulled out what seemed like an entire handful in all.

I read it might happen. Still, I was absolutely horrified. Does anyone know how long the hair loss typically lasts? I'm starting to consider a shorter haircut.

I'm going on 12 weeks without wearing my contacts. My left eye -- especially -- immediately turns red and hurts when they are in. So, I've still be wearing my not-so flattering glasses basically since I gave birth. I ordered 4 pairs to try on from Warby Parker yesterday. (I'll probably need some help figuring out which ones are the best match -- they were all a little too hipster, even for me.)

Hm. I just found this photo a couple days ago. It was taken almost right after giving birth. It definitely helped me see that -- despite not losing weight -- my stomach is getting smaller. I can't believe what a dramatic transformation my body has gone through in the past year. It blows my mind.


Still, now that it's been nearly three months since I was pregnant -- it's hard for me to remember what it felt like. It's also hard to remember how much the labor process hurt. I get a lot of emails from pregnant women asking if I'd go without drugs again. The answer is definitely yes. For my situation, it worked out well. But I know that might not always be the case.

Pain or no pain, I can totally see why people go on and have more children. We're not leaning in that direction anytime soon, but labor didn't scare me from wanting another baby. I'd just like to wait at least two years before thinking about trying again. Between being pregnant and breastfeeding, I'd like at least some time when my body is just my own.


Emotionally, I feel a bit overwhelmed at how fast everything is going. Ada has changed so much since she was born. She was a creature then. And she didn't smile or interact for a long while after that.


Now, she's got such a personality. She seems so much OLDER and it's only been 12 weeks. If the rest of her babyhood goes like this, it'll be over before I know it. That's what everyone tells me, too. I'm not ready for all the milestones to come and go so quickly.

I worry sometimes, too, that I'm not doing what's best for Ada. We have lots of really great days where we play, take walks, learn, and I feel like she's really benefiting from me being home with her for such a long time. I get housework done those days and generally feel like a rock star. Other days, like today, she cries a lot and I sit on the couch all day feeding and napping with her. I feel like I don't know what to do and should be more independent/productive by now since other women already go back to work at this stage.


But then I remind myself that I'm doing the best that I can with the knowledge and love that I have. You have all taught me that the ups and downs are totally normal and expected. So, thank you for that.

Ada's update will be coming soon. As I wrote on the main blog this morning, the lack of posts has been due to getting the new site up and running. I can't wait to have a more exciting spot to blog about my family!

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